Turning 25 and Living for Today
Today’s post is going to be a little bit different than my usual posts. I wanted to take a break from my nerd pop culture posts and celebrate my birthday with you guys. Yes, I am turning 25! I am now a quarter as my friends like to say. So for my 25th birthday I wanted to break down my walls a little bit and share with you all what my life has meant to me so far and how it has led me to creating this blog. I am very appreciative of those who have been following me thus far and welcome all my new visitors, so this is my chance to share a little bit of me.
I want to start off by saying that even though I do take numerous photos for each of my blog posts, it did take a lot out of me to begin that process. I haven’t really been comfortable in front of a camera since I was 10. I thought I was a photogenic child but once those awkward teen years kicked in, I ran anytime I saw camera. I became a little bit more comfortable when I met my ex-fiance and at least would take selfies with him, but even over time that diminished as well. I just overall had been a self conscious person who would always pick myself apart if I saw photos of me.
However in college, I developed this dream. I had a dream to start a publication for girls like me. I wanted to create something which included all my interests and passions as well as utilize all my skills. I’ve never been a girl who was just into one thing or resonated with only one lane of interests. I have been obsessed with fashion and style since I was a little girl where I used to make accessories that made my school uniform stand out from the rest. I loved how personal style could highlight someone’s uniqueness and bring out their character. Therefore being a fashion designer and/or stylist used to be a big dream of mine.
Over time however, I developed even more interests and passions other than fashion. All of a sudden I found myself wanting to be a fashion designer, writer, business woman, entrepreneur, and advertiser with hobbies that ranged from dancing and drawing to reading comics and playing video games. I realized there was so much in my life I wanted to explore, but now it was just a matter of what was going to be my game plan in life. I went to college at first to study Fashion Design, but then chose a different path majoring in Graphic Design with a minor in writing. I then even took it a step further and earned my Masters in Marketing just a year later.
So here I am with the education and the interests, but now only what to do with them. Hence, my blog was born. I knew had the passion and skills, but could I have the confidence to do something like this? Unfortunately for me during my time in college, I was engaged to someone who’s mission was to tear me down and take away any little self confidence I had. He wanted to dim my light and I foolishly listened to him. He told me I wasn’t edgy enough or nerdy enough or basically that I would never be able to get in front of a camera or share what I love with others.
With my existing insecurities and dealing with other naysayers in my life, it obviously didn’t help having someone in my life who was suppose to “love” me tear me down so much. It was seven years of toxicity that led me to walking away from most things I used to love like games or nerd life after being told I didn’t belong in that world. Well now I’m here to tell you, SCREW THAT! I have now been happily done with him for over a year and in that time, I was able to take a leap of faith and create this blog. It took time and it is still going to take time, but I was able to heal and give myself the self love I deserved.
Of course creating this blog and continuing it has its struggles and moments of self doubt especially since it led me to getting in front of a camera again. I essentially had to learn that I should never apologize for being myself and never let anyone try to tell you aren’t what you are. Nobody really knows you but yourself. Since I’ve been taking the time to rebuild myself as well as gain confidence in my photos and work, I decided I wanted to do a special photoshoot for my birthday. A photoshoot that completely embodied me where I could feel beautiful being myself.
So I spent months looking for the perfect dress, something that I felt perfectly summed up my style and planned my dream photoshoot. I knew I wanted something dark, mysterious and night sky related, since I always felt I was a child of the moon.
If you are interested in my dress, you can find my dress at shein.com for $34.00. Unfortunately my accessories are no longer on Shein’s site, but they sell other cute star and moon jewelry options.
This was my chance to do something for me, feel beautiful and kind of give a big fat middle finger to anyone who had ever torn me down, picked on me or made me feel small. So for my birthday wish, I want all of you to do something for yourself that makes you feel good. It can be small or big, but I just want you to spoil yourself a little and know that you are worth so much. No one should ever make you feel bad for just being yourself. I know that can be really difficult especially in the nerd community where outsiders might not really understand why we like what we like. But they don’t matter only you matter.
Everything is great in the end and if it isn’t great yet, then it isn’t the end.
Thank you guys for letting me share with you my personal journey and letting me continue to grow doing what I love. Anyone who is new to my blog, welcome and I hope you stick around for more nerdy content to come. And those who have continued to come back, thank you so much for following my content. Thank you guys again and go enjoy yourselves on my birthday. Please be sure to subscribe to get notified of new posts as well as follow Bombshell on social media on Facebook (@bombshellgamingandstyle), Twitter (@bombgame_style), and Instagram (@bombshellgamingstyle). Until next time my Bombshells, Bye!